While on my morning walk today, I realized that what I want to specialize in is not actually "self-care" in the way that it is thought about today. Geared toward The Youth, optimized to sell, rah rah rah. The kind of self-care I specialize in, and now really specialize in since losing both my parents in a 2.5-year span, is about legacy.
Legacy Self-Care is the pattern of behaviors, actions, and beliefs that care for the five facets of self with a focus on how you'll be leaving this party.
Sound morbid? It isn’t. Or, maybe it is, but get over it. This stuff matters, stick with me.
I want you to take care of yourself because...
...it's your job. Like, that's legit your responsibility, and it's the most important one you have. But equally important, or perhaps even more important, is...
...the children of the next generation, whether you choose to have any of your own or not, will receive the self-care legacy you leave.
What does that mean?
It's two-fold. You need to take care of your home, body, and spirit because the kids of today are watching you, and they need to learn how to properly take care of themselves, as so many of us were not really taught. And you need to take care of yourself because eventually, you will begin to slow down and then die. And whether you've prepped for that or not, you'll be leaving a legacy that others will inherit.
My parents died in 2020 and 2022, and left with the legacy of...absolutely no care or preparation. They did not take care of their bodies or brains and so both broke down. Addictions (alcohol, nicotine, sugar) contributed to the self-neglect, as did the depression and anxiety. In the end, both my parents were dead by 66, and I was an orphan way earlier than I anticipated.
It's been two years since my father died, and I can safely say that I have dedicated my entire life to setting up a better legacy than my parents left me or showed me. I want to leave my son nourishing habits, a home that isn't filled with useless meaningless random shit he has to clean up, a spiritual practice that helps galvanize his brain. I want to leave him with all my passwords and account numbers in one place. I want to leave him with assets that are organized and easily accessible to him.
It's not something I anticipate doing for a long while, of course. Dying, I mean. But nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition and nobody expects Death, but both have been known to pop in at unbelievable times. I'd like to be as ready as I can be. And I'd like to leave a legacy with intention. So that's kinda what my whole schtick is now:
Care and keeping of the Self (Relational Self, Occuptional Self, Physical Self, Environmental Self, Spiritual Self) through the lens of legacy. Because my family neglected themselves right to death, and I flat out refuse.
That's my "y tho."
Legacy self-care so often starts with one step. Like, literally, a step. As in walking. Walking for even ten minutes once or twice a day can change your body and brain's relationship with each other, with their environment, and with your self-concept.
I'm choosing to walk as many miles a week as I can because it makes that big of a difference in my life when I do. Want to join me on a little strut? Grab my Strut I playlist on Apple Music by clicking the button below.
Leaving you with something sweet--here's how I make apple butter! It's delicious stirred into cottage cheese which is how I typically enjoy it (living that high protein life, KWIM?) but also amazing on pancakes, toast, waffles, bagels, crepes, you name it!
Responses