My morning routine is my lifesaver. I am unable to make decisions in the morning; itâs really challenging to execute, but Iâve got five animals and a kiddo to get to school in another county, so execute we must!
I think the best habits become ingrained in our muscle memory so we can experience the blessing of our bodies telling us what to do when our brains just cannot.
Anywayâonce I get to the mirror part of the routine, I get to do my biggest banger of a beauty step, and Iâm going to tell you what that is so you can start doing it, too. Anyone should do this regardless of gender, age, or whatever, so yes, this means YOU:
When you go to put on your SPF moisturizer in the morning, squeeze or scoop it onto the back of your hand and then use your fingertips to apply. Then rub the backs of your hands together so they have SPF on them when youâre driving in the morning! Double-duty. One-two punch. Every single time I do it, I can hear the little jingle of points being racked up in my self-care account.
Iâve been doing that for about eighteen years now. It makes a difference, for sure. (If youâre not wearing SPF on your face every morning, no matter where you live or how old you are, itâs not too late to start. Iâll list my favorites later.) But almost every time the muscles in my hands pull the backs of them together to rub the SPF in, my mind flashes on the woman who taught me that trick.
My best friend for many years, from college until the very week my ex-husband told me he wanted a divorce, taught me that SPF-on-the-hands move when we were still fresh baby daisies. She always seemed to know the best skincare, the chicest wardrobe curation tenets, and the juiciest celebrity gossip. She was (is) one of the best writers Iâve ever met, just an unbelievable poet.
We laughed and laughed and laughed, we protected each other, I went to Texas to mourn her father when he passed, so young. We were flatmates in the worldâs most gorgeous and perfect bachelorette pad (think that unlikely Friends apartment, but real, and in the historic district of Greenville, SC right before the boom). Both our fathers were alcoholicsâhers recovered and a sponsor to many, mine pickled until the day he diedâand we shared that dreadful bond adult children of alcoholics share. We grew up together.
We stopped talking in February 2017, as she became a mother and I became a divorcĂ©e. Of the two relationships that ended then, my friendship with her was the more painful and challenging to navigate, and it remains so. When you tell someone your husband left you, theyâre immediately clued in to devastation. But when you say your bestie ghosted you⊠people are often just like, âYeah, thatâs life, people grow apart, so sad⊠anywayâŠâ
But that shit smarts. And itâs confusing if thereâs not a clear delineation or action to point to. No blow-up, no final text, no declaration. Just silence.
The mornings when my mind drifts to her as I rub the backs of my hands together, I use that time to wish her well and then to ask myself how Iâd like to show up in the friendships that mean a lot to me right now.
Ultimately, we leave residue on everything we touch, every person, place, and thing. Energetically, we are snails. We get ourselves all over everything, and everything gets all over our slimy, wanting selves.
So Iâd like to encourage you to do both those things, tooâapply SPF on the back of your hand and then rub in the excess with the back of the other hand, and also, put some thought into your intention for your friendships. Consider your snail trail. How do you want to be showing up? How can you do that better, more consistently, or more vulnerably?
Love you so much,
Margaret
P. S. Here are my favorite SPF products. These *are not* affiliate or sponsored links, I receive nothing from this, but rest assured that as soon as I figure that shit out they will be, so. There's that đ
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